Check out our funny white jokes. White folks can’t really complain about jokes, since they have it pretty good. So enjoy these jokes about white people and have a good laugh. Keep in mind these jokes are for entertainment purposes only. Have a sense of humor and don’t hate on your fellow man.

Short Jokes

What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?
The NBA

Why do so many white people get lost skiing?
It’s hard to find them in the snow.

What do you call a white guy who needs to get somewhere in town but does not own a car?
A taxi.

What does a white woman make for dinner?
Reservations.

What does a white man do when he is unhappy with current government decisions?
He writes a letter.

How did the white boy come out of the grocery store with a six pack?
He walked in and payed for it.

What do you call a white man in court?
The lawyer.

What do you say when you see a white man carrying a TV?
“Excuse me sir, you dropped your receipt! Let me pick that up for you.”

You know what sucks about being white? Well, not much actually. I mean, there are starving people in Africa, and all those other people in disasters…I’d say we’re pretty lucky.

Why did the white guy cross the road? Because he needed something on the other side. Why else would he cross the road?

What do you call a white man in the ghetto?
A victim.

Long Jokes

A woman getting married for the fourth time visited a tailor to get a wedding dress made.When the tailor inquired about the color, the bride-to-be said “White”. The tailor was a bit surprised by this, and said, “Excuse me, I don’t mean to pry, but since white is the color traditionally worn by a virgin on her wedding night, I can’t help wondering if you might still be a virgin? How could that be?” The woman replied, “I’m sorry to say, but that’s the way it is. You see, my first husband was a psychologist. He just wanted to talk about it. My second husband was a gynecologist. He just wanted to look. My third husband was a stamp collector. God, I miss him…”

—

A seventy-five year old White guy, his hair was completely white, marries a twenty-two year old girl, and she gets pregnant.

Nine months later, he walks into the Maternity Ward. He says to the nurse, “Well, how’d I do?”

The nurse says: “She had twins.”

He says, “Heh, heh, heh…well, I guess that goes to show, that even if there’s snow on the roof, there can still be fire in the furnace.”

She says, “Well, then you’d better change filters. Both of your babies are black.”

Redneck Jokes

You might be a redneck if…

• Your sophisticated famous cousin is a rodeo clown.
• Your three-year-old child is a member of the NRA.
• Your front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs.
• Your mother has been involved in a fistfight at a high school sports event.
• You have more cars on your front lawn than in your driveway.
• You wake up with both a black eye and a hickey.
• You’ve ever used your fishing license as a form of identification.
• You cut your toenails in front of company.
• You consider a good tan to be the back of your neck and the left arm below the shirt sleeve…
• You consider a three piece suit to be: a pair of overalls, a plaid flannel shirt and thermal underwear.
• You think the stock market has a fence around it.
• You’ve ever made change in the offering plate at church.
• You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
• You can amuse yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter.
• You have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.
• Your Christmas tree is still up in February.
• When a sign that says “Say No To Crack!” reminds you to pull up your jeans.
• You consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.
• Your vehicle has a two-tone paint job, primer red and primer gray.
• You have a Hefty bag for a Car/Truck convertible top.
• The Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice.
• You have more than two brothers named Bubba or Junior.
• You owe the taxidermist more than your annual income.
• You consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high quality entertainment.
• You gene pool doesn’t have a “deep end.”
• You think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three of the primary colors.

And there you have it, our list of funny white jokes. This list is not all-inclusive and we’ll be adding more as we hear them. If you would like to share your own jokes about white people please do so in the comment box below. Thanks!